I feel close to a wall. Things have been building up, and they're not going to let up as long as I am moving forward and am not apathetic about my position on this journey. It keeps nagging me to do better, to keep pushing. I'm feeling the resistance.
There was a program called Turning Point, and one episode was of a professional kayaker who started an organization that takes people with cancer out on outdoor excursions. They do kayaking, rock climbing, rappelling, and other things. His aunt has cancer, and she was the inspiration for the company. In the show, it's her first time rock climbing. There was a pretty good grade on the rock, not too difficult, but she tried it and couldn't get very high because she was afraid. She came back down and it seemed she wouldn't try again. But as she saw others ascending, she wanted to try again. She eventually reached the top, and then the founder was talking at the sametime; he said "We want people to get to that breaking point, because that's the only way to break through."
I was talking with James the other night, when I was hitting the wall (I will probably hit it many more times before breaking through) and he told me that when people summit Mount Everest, they do it in steps, like that workout warmup where you touch one line, then go back, then touch a farther line, then go back, and so on. People don't just hang out on Everest. They have to work up to it. If all the work was to just hang out, then it wouldn't be as worth it.
This journey is going to be a struggle, with short respites, but I should take comfort in the fact that resistance means I am striving for something better.
James sad I was close. I hope so.
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